Sunday, March 13, 2011
Monday, November 10, 2008
The Legal Death of A Child
"DO NOT DESTROY THE FUTURE GENERATION -OUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN. IT IS OUR DUTY AS PARENTS AND AS A SOCIETY TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN FROM ABUSE SO THAT THEY WILL THRIVE, PROSPER AND FLOURISH AND THAT THEIR FUTURE WILL BE BRIGHT AND FILLED WITH LOVE, HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS.
- KRISTIN R. HANSON
One of the worst crimes is to take a child away from their mother, for there is no greater bond than the mother child bond. A mother develops the greatest love, an unconditional love - feeling every move as her child grows inside her. That bond is unique and special as mother and child are connected in a way like no other can be. During her pregnancy, she tries to envision what her child will look like, what kind of personality they will have, their talents, hopes and dreams as they grow into an adult. The anticipated birth of her child and her feelings of becoming a mother for the first time can never be taken from her. The gift of being able to conceive a child is truly a gift and blessing-one that she cherishes forever. The most important thing to her is that her child is healthy and happy and she hopes and prays that she will always do her very best to do right by them and raise them to be decent and honest human beings. Her dreams and expectations for her child go far beyond her child's own desires. She would do anything to make him/her happy, to protect them and to give them a life filled with love and a life and future to be proud of. She thinks about all the things she hopes to instill within her child- to love him/herself, to have confidence and self-esteem, to know that no matter what they are deeply loved, to treat others as they would want to be treated, to have morals and ethics, respect for themselves and others and to live their life to the fullest that God has intended and planned for them.
In the blink of an eye, my daughter was stolen from myself and my family and we have not seen each for over 6 years. This separation was not caused by anything other than pure injustice. As I sit and look at the School Years book and the Family Christmas book that have been empty for over six years, blank, cold and dark from what was once, warm, beautiful and happy photographs and the writings that once lit up the pages from the past years, I ask myself, "What kind of people could take such a dear and precious child away from their loving mother and family?" Is it that they have not experienced the profound joy of parenthood to be able to understand the extreme and ever so powerful love and strong bond between the child and parent and dedication of the parent to their child? There is nothing as strong, nor could there ever be anything as strong as the Parent/Child bond. What kind of person(s) would want to destroy that bond? I could not imagine that any normal loving, caring and civilized person would want to do such a thing, nor did I ever think that anyone could be capable of it. This was my way of thinking and rationale until I entered into the family court system and found out that I had entered into a completely different world - foreign to a person who cares and has empathy for human rights and human life. I sadly soon discovered that their only concern was to make money off of destroying and separating children from their loving parents and families- it has nothing to do with their ignorance or inexperience of parenting themselves but it was all done out of greed- "the love of money"
Most children are abused by someone very close to them that they know and love - surprisingly in many cases it is their own father.What kind of man could abuse his own children? Was he abused as a child himself? Was he never taught how to love another human being? It seems to me that once a person becomes a parent- when they see and hold their child for the first time, that there is nothing more important, valued and treasured than that gift of a brand new life entering into their life and world. These are the feelings that I have had ever since I saw and held my beautiful tiny little daughter bundled up and brought to me for the first time- a moment that I will remember and cherish for the rest of my life. I cannot truly explain the depth and joy of those feelings that I had at that precise moment and from each day forward - it is an unconditional love that will never die, nor can it be broken- a love stronger than your child will ever know - a love that would make a parent to do almost anything to assure their protection and safety, and a love so intense and deep that will grow stronger with each new day.
When her child is so cruelly and unjustly ripped from her loving and protective arms by the courts, she feels as if her life is ending, crumbling all around her, walking around as if she is nothing more than shattered broken glass, as she is denied any and all contact with her child, feeling as if her child has died, the ultimate pain.
Though a permanent and final physical death is the very worst, the legal death of her child she is suffering from is devastating beyond words as she cannot ever receive closure as she fights year after year, day after day to regain custody. She has suddenly become a mother "in name" only and she is heartbroken and devastated wondering what she has to live for. After many long, tiring and unsuccessful attempts to obtain protection for her children by the courts, she is provided with one answer each and every time - justice denied.
"Each time a mother loses her child, a child loses their
mother and each time a child loses their mother, a mother
loses her child"
She sits with tears streaming down her anguished face as she slowly pages through the Family Christmas Book and School Years Book, knowing, painfully, that she will never be able to fill those pages from those lost years. She is grateful for her child's life and the precious memories and hope still remains in her heart, as a glimpse of a smile breaks through the tears, knowing that her child is alive and well and that one day they will be together again. She can live without the material things of every day life for those things can easily be replaced, but she cannot survive the loss of the precious moments with her child that have been stripped from her for so many years along with the memories and photographs that should fill the pages of photo albums, scrapbooks, school books, family books and holiday books from years past. Despite this profound loss, she is thankful for all the previous years where she has so many beautiful photographs of her child that reflect all the happy moments and times they shared together -events, activities, vacations and special occassions that cannot be stolen from her. Those become her most valuable possession and she would do anything to preserve and save each and every single photograph taken, each entry into a journal, and any letters and documents she has written, for those are the things that keep her alive, strong and to help her cope and to survive such a tremendous loss.
Written by Kristin Hanson
Dedications:
To Rachel - My heart aches each day we have been apart. I want you to know that I have fought to bring you home each and every single day for all these years and I will never give up. I love you and cherish you with all my heart and soul. I wish I could give back all the years that have been unjustly stolen from us, breaking our hearts. I look to the future where we will have many more happy times and years ahead of us.
To all those parents who have lost their children due to the crimes in the court system, especially for those parents whose children have died as a result of abuse. May God give you peace and comfort and help you through the loss of your child.
To those parents who have hope of being reunited with your child. Be thankful that they are alive and well. As long as there is life, there is hope.
- KRISTIN R. HANSON
One of the worst crimes is to take a child away from their mother, for there is no greater bond than the mother child bond. A mother develops the greatest love, an unconditional love - feeling every move as her child grows inside her. That bond is unique and special as mother and child are connected in a way like no other can be. During her pregnancy, she tries to envision what her child will look like, what kind of personality they will have, their talents, hopes and dreams as they grow into an adult. The anticipated birth of her child and her feelings of becoming a mother for the first time can never be taken from her. The gift of being able to conceive a child is truly a gift and blessing-one that she cherishes forever. The most important thing to her is that her child is healthy and happy and she hopes and prays that she will always do her very best to do right by them and raise them to be decent and honest human beings. Her dreams and expectations for her child go far beyond her child's own desires. She would do anything to make him/her happy, to protect them and to give them a life filled with love and a life and future to be proud of. She thinks about all the things she hopes to instill within her child- to love him/herself, to have confidence and self-esteem, to know that no matter what they are deeply loved, to treat others as they would want to be treated, to have morals and ethics, respect for themselves and others and to live their life to the fullest that God has intended and planned for them.
In the blink of an eye, my daughter was stolen from myself and my family and we have not seen each for over 6 years. This separation was not caused by anything other than pure injustice. As I sit and look at the School Years book and the Family Christmas book that have been empty for over six years, blank, cold and dark from what was once, warm, beautiful and happy photographs and the writings that once lit up the pages from the past years, I ask myself, "What kind of people could take such a dear and precious child away from their loving mother and family?" Is it that they have not experienced the profound joy of parenthood to be able to understand the extreme and ever so powerful love and strong bond between the child and parent and dedication of the parent to their child? There is nothing as strong, nor could there ever be anything as strong as the Parent/Child bond. What kind of person(s) would want to destroy that bond? I could not imagine that any normal loving, caring and civilized person would want to do such a thing, nor did I ever think that anyone could be capable of it. This was my way of thinking and rationale until I entered into the family court system and found out that I had entered into a completely different world - foreign to a person who cares and has empathy for human rights and human life. I sadly soon discovered that their only concern was to make money off of destroying and separating children from their loving parents and families- it has nothing to do with their ignorance or inexperience of parenting themselves but it was all done out of greed- "the love of money"
Most children are abused by someone very close to them that they know and love - surprisingly in many cases it is their own father.What kind of man could abuse his own children? Was he abused as a child himself? Was he never taught how to love another human being? It seems to me that once a person becomes a parent- when they see and hold their child for the first time, that there is nothing more important, valued and treasured than that gift of a brand new life entering into their life and world. These are the feelings that I have had ever since I saw and held my beautiful tiny little daughter bundled up and brought to me for the first time- a moment that I will remember and cherish for the rest of my life. I cannot truly explain the depth and joy of those feelings that I had at that precise moment and from each day forward - it is an unconditional love that will never die, nor can it be broken- a love stronger than your child will ever know - a love that would make a parent to do almost anything to assure their protection and safety, and a love so intense and deep that will grow stronger with each new day.
When her child is so cruelly and unjustly ripped from her loving and protective arms by the courts, she feels as if her life is ending, crumbling all around her, walking around as if she is nothing more than shattered broken glass, as she is denied any and all contact with her child, feeling as if her child has died, the ultimate pain.
Though a permanent and final physical death is the very worst, the legal death of her child she is suffering from is devastating beyond words as she cannot ever receive closure as she fights year after year, day after day to regain custody. She has suddenly become a mother "in name" only and she is heartbroken and devastated wondering what she has to live for. After many long, tiring and unsuccessful attempts to obtain protection for her children by the courts, she is provided with one answer each and every time - justice denied.
"Each time a mother loses her child, a child loses their
mother and each time a child loses their mother, a mother
loses her child"
She sits with tears streaming down her anguished face as she slowly pages through the Family Christmas Book and School Years Book, knowing, painfully, that she will never be able to fill those pages from those lost years. She is grateful for her child's life and the precious memories and hope still remains in her heart, as a glimpse of a smile breaks through the tears, knowing that her child is alive and well and that one day they will be together again. She can live without the material things of every day life for those things can easily be replaced, but she cannot survive the loss of the precious moments with her child that have been stripped from her for so many years along with the memories and photographs that should fill the pages of photo albums, scrapbooks, school books, family books and holiday books from years past. Despite this profound loss, she is thankful for all the previous years where she has so many beautiful photographs of her child that reflect all the happy moments and times they shared together -events, activities, vacations and special occassions that cannot be stolen from her. Those become her most valuable possession and she would do anything to preserve and save each and every single photograph taken, each entry into a journal, and any letters and documents she has written, for those are the things that keep her alive, strong and to help her cope and to survive such a tremendous loss.
Written by Kristin Hanson
Dedications:
To Rachel - My heart aches each day we have been apart. I want you to know that I have fought to bring you home each and every single day for all these years and I will never give up. I love you and cherish you with all my heart and soul. I wish I could give back all the years that have been unjustly stolen from us, breaking our hearts. I look to the future where we will have many more happy times and years ahead of us.
To all those parents who have lost their children due to the crimes in the court system, especially for those parents whose children have died as a result of abuse. May God give you peace and comfort and help you through the loss of your child.
To those parents who have hope of being reunited with your child. Be thankful that they are alive and well. As long as there is life, there is hope.
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